Just for them to be human and treat us the same. You know she is going to die if you get the flu and you make her get sick. I help people feel better, move better, and perform better. Im told that when waking up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I rattled off a very long list of the girls in my high school I wanted to bang, one of which was the dentists daughter. My wife is an anesthesiologist. My adult sister had a pretty checkered past involving drugs. A comprehensive schedule of classes in French, Spanish and 15+ other languages. Oh Im just so constipated! Colonoscopy. Oh no!, Me: Whats the maintenance for this? This is true in the case of nurses as well as doctors. I thought it would be good to mix it up and have a fun article on here! He was treating a woman, and he said, Im putting you to sleep now. She replied with the most horrified look on her face, Like a dog?!. "Am I in hell?" I responded, "No you're not, you're just in recovery." "That sounds like something the devil would say. A 20-year-old man and his girlfriend came in at 2AM freaking out because "something had tore his throat open." He seemed fine. 57. I was the patient. 30. 15. 40 cute things to say to your boyfriend every day best life. He pulls the mask away and I said, I trusted you. Yeah. As the scope was introduced, she exclaimed, Oooh! Early life. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. Even better, I threw in a funny pic of a dog that looks like it is laughing, what a week (photo credit)! 44. Ohhhh noooo! I passed out hearing the nurses laughing. 49. Here are thirty of the funniest things patients usually say: 1. I find these interesting and rewarding to listen to. Never eat chicken. I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. Funny things patients say!!! Patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema. I think I had too much peanut butter and I think I have an STD., 22. The Orange County Lingual Institute opened in 2012 following the success of its sister institute, the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute which opened in 1996 in Beverly . some people go through life with vomit on their lips. About the Author:Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Franciscoearned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is: This is better than meth.. I just took two pills more than necessary!, 6. She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. Please bring me some eye drops!, 28. 30 Funniest Things that Nurses Say or Write, 9 Hilarious and Funny Stress Balls For Nurses, 38 Funny and Inspiring Nurse Retirement Quotes, 30 Funny & Inspirational Nursing Quotes From Pinterest, 14 Cute And Funny Notepads Every Nurse Must Have. 2. - Nickrosis. GIVING A 5 STAR REVIEW.. Patient has a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out. I could prescribe you some Valium instead. My daddy has thyroids, and I do, too., #7. The prostate-specific antigen test (PSA) and the digital rectal exam (DRE). Why do all the patients love the surgeon who is also a stand-up comic? Their faith. Dr. 59. He once was convinced that one of the night shift nurses was running a prostitution ring. D double elle Senior Member 10+ Year Member 15+ Year Member Joined Oct 12, 2000 Messages 416 Reaction score 2 Aug 2, 2006 #1 Members don't see this ad. Please give your (toddler) son a couple of Benadryls to calm him down before bringing him in my office again.. After getting my wisdom teeth removed I looked at my mother-in-law and said, How did you get on my rocket ship?, 40. Here are thirty of the funniest things patients usually say: 1. 12. 30 Funniest Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia Mindaugas Baliauskas BoredPanda staff YouTube has brought the world many gems, but none greater than the trend of filming people at their most vulnerable - under the influence of laughing gas - and sharing all the funny stories with the rest of the internet. You dont look like you have Lyme disease., 23. 47. He also graduated from Temple University with a Doctor of physical therapy degree. They were adjusting my legs and such so my ass would be in prime camera insertion positioning. Another of my favorite patient quotes is the doctor said it was the worst (insert injury here) they have ever seen. Some patients like to glorify their injury, and wear it like a badge of honor. #6. My patients are well-informed, and it's not uncommon for them to alert me to something I need to research or bone up on. Another of my favorite patient quotes is "the doctor said it was the worst (insert injury here) they have ever seen." Some patients like to glorify their injury, and wear it like a badge of honor. 1. Its so painful, I wouldnt wish this much pain on Osama Bin Laden., 12. A 20-year-old man and his girlfriend came in at 2AM freaking out because something had tore his throat open. He seemed fine. You lying fuck. Thats the last thing I remember. When I was in school I was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep and was going through my regular spiel. All from $5.53 New Books from $5.53 Used Books from $6.99 All Copies ( 3 ) Softcover ( 3 ) Choose Edition ( 1 ) Book Details Seller Sort Page 1 of 1 Books by Funny Medical Journal Starting at $5.53 Share them with us! I had my knees to my chest and was passing out from the gas when I asked the nurse to paint me like one of her French girls, then passed out. Whether they're waking up from anesthesia or being totally honest and. because I quit taking my Peanut Butterball (Phenobarbital)., 11. -ER- If you have a kid, sooner or later you'll be in the ER. positive and sweet things to say to your mom mommy moment. My mother felt free to share that with EVERYONE. Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality ( 18:15 ): Yeah. 50. Patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema. September 10, 2012 / 0 Comments / in Fun, Pop Culture / by Angela. 14. It always comes up and puts us therapists in an awkward position. 2022 Nurseslabs | Ut in Omnibus Glorificetur Deus! Patient when asked about her chief complaints: Well, my hair hurts., Related article: 25 Funniest Things Doctors Say or Write, 23. 1. The Way Chronic Eczema Affected My Work And Life As A Mother Is Why I Advocate For The Community Today, 15 True Scary Stories From People Who Worked With Dead Bodies, 21 Morgue Workers Share Their Worst Of Stories, 35 Men On The Most Mushy, Thoughtful, Romantic Thing A Woman Has Ever Done For Them, 20 People Post About Their First Time Watching Final Destination. One patient stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, and muttered, Youd make such a great carpet.. What is the shadiest thing you've said or done to a nurse or doctor? 24. Happened today. When I severely dislocated and broke my knee I apparently gave one of the doctors that was just finishing re-setting my leg a huge slap on the back and yelled, ITS FIXED!!! 33. Wow. Wed love to hear from you! I have been waiting here for a long time. I know. An investigation by the Midwest Newsroom and St. Louis Public Radio has found that the Missouri Department of Natural Resources and the company Litton Systems, a former defense contractor that had employed . "Just go back to sleep." Yehudi is the name of my dog. She also appears to be depressed., 12. And the first part of that is that thinking about it, you know, we, in order to achieve it, we have to think about it set out those steps. A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. My mother says I gave her a look of absolute terror and then passed out. Shop now. the 10 things i say to my teens when they are stressed out. I know the difference between boys and girls! The number of people I've had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising.". They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!. "I'm not dying, am I?" 3. The dr. was gone so fast after transfer that we heard him yell 'Good Luck!' from 20 feet down the hall. "But it's sterile and I like the taste.". !, 29. "Sorry, I can't get you a mouth guard for you to stop grinding your teeth at night when you sleep. When the cats away, the kitten will play. I was coming out after my wisdom teeth surgery last year (aged 21) and the surgeon popped his head in and said, Hello little one youre awake and I said, Im not little Im 511 but thank you. Apparently it was funny. As part of the admission process, it was neccessary to ask her if she understood why she had been admitted. 55. My dads an anesthesiologist. #3. 19. However, if we use their words and refer to it as rotor cup, now others in the room or in society think we are crazy. 14 reviews of The Children's Hospital At Montefiore "Since i've now had the opportunity to bring my son here both for an ER trip and an admission, i'll go ahead and write the review. Let me give you a prescription of Ambien., 11. 65 doctors, nurses and patients with a hilarious sense of humor Morgan Slimak 10.10.19 It's never fun going to the hospital. Said a bedridden little old lady to her nurse. Can you think of other things that doctors say or write? 5. Specialties: Orange County's premier language school. I creeped out a nurse by talking about my occupation, and then even more by commenting on her butt in a backhanded compliment. A patient said to the doctor, "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". 10. In high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. I feel like a baby is sitting on my chest. I forgot the names of my medications, but I remember that my last Blood Pressure reading was 121/119 mmHg., 29. Friends buy you lunch. My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift LOL Journals 520 Paperback 24 offers from $1.46 Product details Publisher : Independently published (October 18, 2019) Language : English Then immediately started rapping mumbled lines. Whether its about a medical procedure or their inherent fear of needles, here are some of the funniest patient statements weve compiled for you: #1. Surgeons they slice and dice people for a living. It was controlled landing., 26. A patient who was recovering from extraction of his wisdom tooth and still woozy from anesthesiaspitted out the bloody gauze that was in his mouth. Last week, he dropped dead from cancer." "That's terrible," says the other friend. Enjoy this collection of some of the wittiest hospital signs (real and imagined) from across the web: #1 Danger! 45. My uncle said someone started singing phantom of the opera. I had to go under for ear surgery once. 6. 21. 1. Her life has never been the same since then. Although, one good way to make it through the doom and gloom and still come out with your sanity intact is by using humor. He currently practices at Sturdy Orthopedics and Sports Medicine Associates in Attleboro MA, where he treats many orthopedic and sports medicine patients. "Oh yes, nurse, " she replied earnestly. Straying Too Much From Routines. My brother went under and on his way out he said, Holy fuck, you are beautiful and Im in love to the nurse anesthetist. From the other side of the stethoscope: funny patient stories. I see no problem with taking Xanax and Halcion even on daytime., Related article: 30 Funniest Things that Nurses Say or Write, 19. Established in 2012. *He's great with women - You can't fail to notice he's great with women. When I was coming up from shoulder surgery on a pretty substantial dose of fentanyl, my wife told me that I looked at the head nurse and said, Your boobs are spectacular, I want to see them. I have no memory of it, but apparently the wife was mortified, and the nurse thought it was hysterical. I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was ok. Doctor with a twisted sense of humor. I just wash my hair often when I have nosebleeds., 21. February 5, 2015 at 1:33 pm. The doctor says "It's just a pigment of your imagination". What came next was even more priceless, And it wasnt my ankle, it was this bone here (pointing), the fibia. My hands hurt when it rains., 20. She also said it wasnt particular unusual to get comments of that sort. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST DOCTORS IVE EVER SEEN. Boys have a penis and girls have pajamas., #8. Funny Things to Say to Your Friends Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. My father had thyroids and I think I do too.. When they reach the rank of General of the Army, they can say "f*ck it" and go back to being a private for the fun of it so they can unlock everything all over again this time with a way to let other players know how cool. HEADLINE 1: Contamination in Springfield's groundwater, and Missouri knew for Decades - STLPR. Nurse: So, you are hypertensive! "Eating before surgery. I think I have anemia. Last year they were knocking me out for a colonoscopy. 41. I had a patient a couple of weeks ago quote Bran Stark and say, I am going to go now. He timed it perfectly because his eyes rolled back as soon as he said it. Im told that when waking up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I rattled off a very long list of the girls in my high school I wanted to bang, one of which was the dentists daughter. My friends thought it was hilarious. I thought itd be funny if I asked, Does anyone need anything while Im out? right before I went under. 5. The doctor has to know he's doing the right thing . Best friends eat your lunch. 31. Do you want your baby to die? Dont check my temperature with that rectal thermometer! I think Im passing gas out my penis. These hilarious stories from Ask Reddit are going to have you chuckling at your phone. Im not even gay!, 13. Please log in again. 18. My boyfriend still teases me about it. I was assessing a female client and asked whether she was pregnant. Here are eight common mistakes parents of preschoolers make and some smart fixes to help avoid or resolve problems. Patient: Did you just do surgery on my leg? There was a little hard pellet inside my mouth and I think maybe it was my ovary., 24. I asked him how Smurfette was last night. Just as they had me move my knees a bit higher up I said, Yup, just like prom night. With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time. The anesthesiologist accidentally hit the door frame on the way out. #15. Just He wasnt recovered enough to and the nurse wasnt gonna let him get up yet. 51. I played hide and seek with my friend in the hospital. Q: What's the funniest thing a patient has ever told you? 3. Being Diagnosed With HIV Saved My Life. Maybe you should put him in speech intervention., 7. That being said, so are all of the other pediatric ERs in the area, but at least this one is open 24 . His shoes are charred and the bottoms of his pants are definitely burned away but his skin isn't so bad. 9. Without missing a beat, while looking terrified, pops reached down and counted 1.23.yep all still there.. The anesthesiologist that came in to check me over had bright blue teeth and lips. 102 funny things to say to a girl or guy you like. I blew out my knee. I broke my hand tumbling once and had to get surgery. But I really recommend you get your child vaccinated., 15. Things doctors say to their patients. 100 sweet things to say to a girl to make her heart soar. 7. #4. After the surgery I woke up in post op, which was a fairly large room with probably 6 to 7 other patients in beds waiting to become conscious again. I love telling that story, that lady made all our days. "Nurse here. I was about to be put under for a colonoscopy while the nurse was trying to position me in a way to make it easiest for them to work. 17. Minutes later I awoke. "You're 22 - wash your dick.". Ive never seen a medical professional lose it like that before or since. My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift Paperback - May 12, 2018 by LOL Journals (Author) 520 ratings See all formats and editions Paperback $7.95 21 Used from $1.46 2 New from $7.94 For your own sake, you better not make them angry. Here is a list of some funny surgeon jokes for your amusement. Let me show you how to get started: 2008-2022 Mike Reinold All Rights Reserved, Blood Flow Restriction Training: Everything You Need to Know, Subacromial Pain: Keys to the Evaluation and Treatment, Keys to Shoulder Instability Rehabilitation, Assessing and Treating a Loss of Knee Extension ROM. jasyon. I am scheduled to have an autopsy (biopsy) in the morning., 25. Had a patient wake up violently. Rozzette Cabrera is a registered nurse pursuing her childhood dream of becoming a professional writer. He turned to the nurse and said: You may not realize this, but Im a ninja and we heal three times faster than normal people.. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints., 14. Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life Our Hardest Riddles Ever He Can Do It Himself It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. 42. When I was going under for a surgery, my anesthesiologist asked what I wanted to eat after this surgery and apparently I said A steak with peanut butter., He laughed and said, Where do you get THOSE steaks? Somehow my brain smooshed those two together. After all, David D. Clarke, MD, president of the Psychophysiologic Disorders Association, says 30 to 40 percent of the people who visit the doctor do have symptoms caused by stress. Telling people the doctor has never seen worse is a good way to glorify it for sure. About the Author:Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Franciscoearned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. Otherwise, she will be fat., 17. I was coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy. 20. - Dakipa. She spent a few years putting her profession into practice until she decided to take her chances with freelance writing over a year ago. "I am too drunk to come in and see this patient." At least the physician was honest, but he was on call. Elderly woman clearly psychotic today; states she has a frog in her throat., 24. After asking the patient what exactly is wrong, he answered: "I don't feel it but look, IT'S RIGHT THERE!" He was referring to his uvula. Robin McLaurin Williams (July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014) was an American actor and comedian. I mean, and Ive taken some PRETTY CRAZY STUFF! My mom was like smdh. He is a board certified specialist in orthopedics and also a certified strength and conditioning specialist. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Apparently, right after they gave me the drugs I started talking about how cute my boyfriends butt is. Before you invest time figuring out how to switch doctors, it's important to analyze whether such a change is necessary. Highly-educated native-speaker teachers, university texts, great location. Dr. Taraman, pictured with his apparent doppelgngers, Linguini from "Ratatouille" and Flint Lockwood from "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." Right before she went out she said, Thanks, I just had them done. I looked at my preceptor, we looked at the circulator, and we all burst out laughing. 2. Apparently she looked very concerned by this information and my mother had to explain that Ive been a licensed funeral director for many years and hospitals and other facilities often do not remove tubing. " Stress-related symptoms can be just as severe and just as long-lasting as symptoms caused by any other form of illness," he says. Ah, I have had this for quite a while. Ive taken a lot of those out, but Ive never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.. Heres why and what my vision is for the future of the AASPT. 20. Funny Gift Idea for Doctors, Nurses, Medical Assistant. double elle Aug 2, 2006 This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Trevor shares a great, and fun, article on some of the funny things our patients and clients say! Too much thinking for ones self seems inflammatory. Patient: Yeah, captopril. 14 Ridiculously Funny Things That Kids Actually Said at the Eye Doctor's Office "Are you allergic to anything?" "Poison." Overheard Optometry 5 years ago. 50. They are "iron sharpening iron." 4. Patient: Nope. He asked the doctor serious questions, remembered the procedure, and walked out of the hospital no problem. I look forward to reading all of them! Me coming to after getting wisdom teeth out: So how long until the anesthetic kicks in?. But why do I have to take my medication with Coca-cola instead of Pepsi?, Related article: 30 Funniest Things That Nurses Say or Write, 9. Right after giving midazolam I had a patient say, WOW, this feels like the 70s!. Here is a selection of our favorite puns about the optometrist, hopefully you'll see some puns you like. And it inspired me to write this guest post today. Meet the Doctors; Services; . The ER at CHAM is small, outdated, and overcrowded. Patients need doctors with courage that just look to do their best and to look out for their patients first. I sent the coast guard to get him. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. From what I was told, the doctor had to excuse himself because he started laughing really hard. Nurses: What maintenance? We run the risk of the patient thinking we are rude for correcting them. Patient: Do you want one of my cookies, Dear? My husband kept telling the medical staff after his procedure that: Its okay, my wifes a doctor. While there's no conclusive evidence about these things, we do know that it can lead to endless hilarity. When I was giving birth I was pretty out of it. Click here to listen to . More importantly, Trevor just starts the discussion, please comment and share some of your Funny Things Our Patients Say too! Plunger down 99, 98, 97 I remembered nothing more. Can I pass gas out of my penis? National Public Radio recently hosted a conversation about obesity, weight, and health with several medical professionals, where listeners were invited to share personal experiences of discussing obesity with doctors. Still makes me cringe. 25. My mistake. Half conscious response: Honey you know I dont like it that way., 3. 10 Funniest Things Patients Have Said to Nurses & Doctors 1. 43. It was the third time I had been put under in a year. Im a pretty big guy and the doctor I gave the friendly pat on the back was a relatively small dude. Their life stories. The Heartland POD. I want to help you learn to do the same. Watch until the end where I share a clinic favorite for "funny stories." And learn how I remember all the funny stories that we have with patients in our phy. "Well, I told him a. Lying can also be dangerous, as it could cause potential medication overdoses or interactions. Count backwards from 100 to prove it., 2. We are not medical doctors who learned to adjust the spine as a specialty, but are doctors of chiropractic (D.C). He was able to change my mind. "What was the doctor saying about my dimentions (dementia)?" 5. In a hurried manner, my patient said: Oh, Im just so constipated! I was recently taking care of a 17 year old kid and he looks at me and says, Dude, I am high as fuck. They almost never remember it afterward. As I Listened to my partial medial menisectomy patient describe his injury to another patient, I had to chuckle to myself. ?" The Funny Things Patients Say. During a wisdom tooth extraction, a patient said to his doctor: Charlatan! Me: Oh no, now I feel like a car!. "I have been waiting here for a long time. You should never give your child powdered milk. People die from vaccines every day. 58. I think there is a pill for that., 9. Perfect For Christmas or Appreciation Gift. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Keep in mind I was high as fuck. Benadryl has too many side effects. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. She asked, Do you love me? My stepdad replied, You need to go on and get your little Yoda shoes. Im pretty sure Yoda doesnt even wear shoes. My mom was mortified. I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it. I was getting my gallbladder removed and as they were wheeling me back, I started to cry and said, Im gonna wake up with my lips stitched to someones asshole.. 11. My Quotable Patients - the Funniest Things Patients Say by Leila Leila Buckridge, 2021, Independently Published edition, in English Its from the devil., 16. 21K views, 3.5K likes, 96 loves, 35 comments, 28 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Bollywood Bubble - Videos: Sonali Bendre talks about taking a Break. 4. I told the doctor I was not going to have brain surgery. Get a copy now! So much for putting it into laymans terms for the patient. The login page will open in a new tab. 25. I knew a guy who had surgery and afterwards wanted to go home. I didnt overdose. Kids say the darndest things! The Funny Things Patients Say. When she was in fellowship she had a patient say they saw dicks dripping off the ceiling. Yes, You Read That Right. During a wisdom tooth extraction, a patient said to his doctor: "Charlatan! Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. You dont look old enough to be a nurse., 18. ! as I give them anesthesia. 2. When he is feeling funny. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard! 30 Funniest Things That Nurses Say or Write, 9 Hilarious and Funny Stress Balls For Nurses, 38 Funny and Inspiring Nurse Retirement Quotes, 30 Funny & Inspirational Nursing Quotes From Pinterest, 14 Cute And Funny Notepads Every Nurse Must Have, How to Become A Phlebotomist: What You Need to Know, 30 Funniest Nurse Cartoons That Speak Louder Than Words, 4 Effective Head-To-Toe Winter Skin Care Tips For Nurses, Ultimate Holiday Shopping Guide For Nurses, 6 Best Nursing Clipboards With Storage, Reference Tables, and Refillable Pads, 26 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed, 26 Powerful Healing Prayers for Cancer Patients. 49. Your son (12 months old) is not speaking words. Your human ideas are just what a ,good doctor would order, and just what a patient needs. Carol Waters Lives in San Antonio 3 y I was asked to do an assessment on an older man, a retired minister, at a nursing home. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Sorry, I cant get you a mouth guard for you to stop grinding your teeth at night when you sleep. I wasnt using any illegal drugs. I could prescribe you some Valium instead. 11. One patient with a psychotic illness has written: "the doctor has to feel sure he has the right to break into the illness, just as a parent knows he has the right to walk into a baby's room, no matter what the baby feels about it. 27. Like a hundred years now., 7. After one of my dads (many) hand surgeries, he was being a little too frisky with one of the nurses, so she came in the room to check on him and loudly pronounced that the sex change operation was a resounding success. 3. The radio was playing in the operating room, and Uncle Kracker came on. When patients downplay or exaggerate symptoms, lifestyle choices, pain level, or side effects, they usually don't realize that it can affect their quality of lifeand the quality of the treatment that they receive. Wooden surgeons. Anyone who has worked in an outpatient setting treating shoulders has no doubt heard this one. "I am on a boat in the middle of the river and cannot get there for several hours." Again, the physician was on call. 11. When will I be seen?, 4. Before my emergency appendectomy and right as they wheeled me away, I grabbed my husband and said (very loudly): Dont forget to tell them our backup plan. 23. She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. Made me blush I was so flattered, and made the rest of my day awkward with my coworkers teasing me about it. 10 Things Eyecare Patients Say That Are Giant Red Flags . Many of my patients have personal beliefs and stories that go beyond the physical world we live in. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. Ive had patients say, here we go!! He kept them in Liverpool. This never gets old. Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia By Moran Sapir - 2022-09-21 Article was originally published on our site playjunkie.com We've all heard about how people apparently reveal their biggest secrets while intoxicated. Patient: Well yeah, but Im not hypertensive, the pills keep my pressure stable. Mmy liver! I was recently being put under for a colonoscopy. "I know this is actually going to hurt, but I'll try not to think about it." 2. At that the nurse stopped trying to keep him in bed, he stood and immediately ate the floor. 36. I responded, No youre not, youre just in recovery., That sounds like something the devil would say. We would love to hear from you! I called out for my mom and dad and when they didnt immediately come to my side, I called out for Captain Kirk. Im here for my scheduled seduction (sedation)., 30. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared., 13. Where did the British surgeon safeguard the organs from his donors? Immediately starts freaking out, as one does when their penis is M.I.A. That's what I need!" #13. Patient: Well fine then, you can lick me, I'm sour! Should we Still be Using Rehabilitation Protocols? 51. "It's OK, Yehudi," I said. Lets take your gall bladder out and see if that helps. #14. Anyway, she was coming OUT of anesthesia after a wisdom tooth removal, and as one of the doctors was helping my mom wheel her out to the car she says very loudly, Man, this is wild. What is the rudest thing a nurse has ever said to you? It is taught specifically in chiropractic . I dont want you to be too surprised by my tattoo. conservative looking Asian man with a Pinocchio tattoo around his penis, with his penis as the nose. Nurses work with people every day, and it is normal that they would experience not only toxic shifts, but also funny patients. 2. Who do people consider to be more reliable than plastic surgeons? "Do you want your baby to die? Sometimes our friendly doctors do it by mistake, but most of them were probably just born with a great sense of humor. Maybe you should feed your child some carrot cake so he would eat vegetables., 18. Thats an easy fix, Sir. The doctors of Reddit reveal the most annoying things patients can do. I got my administration right now." She meant to say menstruation! Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia ADVERTISEMENT We've all heard about how people apparently reveal their biggest secrets while intoxicated. 32. 15 Still Into Her: Talks About Her A Lot. Instead of a patient saying rotator cuff, we hear rotor cup, rotatory cup, rotor cuff. These are just a few of the MANY funny things we hear on a daily basis from our patients. When my stepdad was going under for a surgery, he was almost out but at a sweet point that the doctor told my mom she could ask him anything and he wouldnt be able to help but answer truthfully. With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time. Nurse: (After seeing hypertensive medication on his bed) Do you take any medication at all? He had been trying to use a propane-powered weed burner in his yard (think flame thrower) and things got a little out of control. I had surgery last week for the first time. If you have to make a trip there, it is almost always because something bad has happened. Consistency is key for preschoolers, says . 26. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. Do you hear it?. The anesthesiologist espied me and came over quickly. May I have a glass of water? I had an alcoholic patient who kept asking for a six pack but the funny part is that she was so aggravated/annoyed with people coming in her room, she said verbatim "I wish I had Ebola so you people would leave me alone." (submitted by tjh28 RN, BSN- Stepdown) 2. Known for his improvisational skills and the wide variety of characters he created on the spur of the moment and portrayed on film, in dramas and comedies alike, he is regarded as one of the greatest comedians of all time.. Williams began performing stand-up comedy in San Francisco and Los Angeles . Conjunctivitis.com, that's a site for sore eyes. Nurse, Im going to have to sue the doctor for prescribing me an illegal dose of Tylenol., 27. 60. Ahh yes, the fibia. Do you know other funny things that patients write or say? We have new and used copies available, in 3 editions - starting at $18.59. Some 14 year old kid whispered, I fucked your mom.. He goes to put the mask on my face and says, This is oxygen. I cough as the mask goes on. CNA: No, I don't eat too many sweets, sorry. 54 Utterly Ridiculous Things Patients Said to Their Eye Doctors . Anesthesiologist: Yes you had surgery and are waking up from it. As one of the oldest ski resorts in the world, Chamonix is not only steeped in tradition but if offers the steeps that attract the world's most talented riders. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the. 6 weeks, 54 needles, 2 surgeries, 7 ultrasounds, 6 people in the room and still 'conception' was wham bam thank you ma'am. Diet coke in the morning will help combat your heart burn/ indigestion., 5. Try these funny comments with your friends. "Women do not have heart disease." 10. The DRE is free across Canada. 'He's sucking the life out of you!'" Melissa B. says "My doctor tried to put me on antidepressants when I started crying after he told me during an appointment that I would likely never have kids I'm not sure why he considered crying to be an inappropriate or excessive reaction? As a student midwife a few years ago, it was my job to admit a woman who had been admitted to the delivery suite to be induced that morning. Me and the other nurses laughed for about 5 minutes straight. Just last week, I evaluated a patient with a fractured fibula. Patient with seizures: I had to come to the E.R. Some patients arent always annoying. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Here are some tips to put yourself in a position to land one of these jobs. When I would wake up we would compare what I remembered to what she observed. And I like also that you said about the little things, you know, we went for a walk in the . January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. I had to take my mom to the hospital and while I was speaking to the doctor about her medical history, my mom was ~real~ insistent about them knowing her tennis elbow. Wife said the nurses were cracking up. 48. My dad works with that stuff, funniest thing hes heard is: Hey mister doctor? Nurse anesthetist here. Turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die. As a doctor or nurse, what's the shadiest thing you've seen a patient or their family do? CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. He is adjunct faculty at Northeastern University, teaching courses in orthopedics and differential diagnosis. He leaves them in stitches. There are 2 screening tests available to check for prostate cancer. It was just weed! Im an anesthesiologist. He graduated from Northeastern University with a Bachelors in PT and a Master of Science Degree. MENU Home; Patient Info. 20 Funny Things Patients Have Ever Said To Nurses, can really break you into fits of laughter, 4 Kinds Of Doctors Nurses Love Working With, Therapeutic Communication Techniques Quiz. I demand you return my teeth! Not only will it most likely cancel your surgery and screw up the schedule you risk vomiting into your lungs which can kill you."-propofolme. I was telling this to 3 male doctors. She knows what youre talking about. Im a lawyer. My old man had a vasectomy after my younger brother was born and when he woke up after the surgery he couldnt find his dick because it had been taped to his leg. Nurse: Do you have any history of high blood pressure/hypertension? The DRE test is the one where the doctor inserts a gloved, lubricated finger into your rectum to reach the prostate. Franois-Marie Arouet was born in Paris, the youngest of the five children of Franois Arouet (1649-1722), a lawyer who was a minor treasury official, and his wife, Marie Marguerite Daumard (c. 1660-1701), whose family was on the lowest rank of the French nobility.Some speculation surrounds Voltaire's date of birth, because he claimed he was born on 20 February 1694 as the . 16. Trevor Winnegge PT,DPT,MS,OCS,CSCS has been practicing PT for over 13 years. If you find that he's making conversation by talking about cool places to go or fun things to do, he . 507 South Maryland Ave, Wilmington, DE 19804. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. 38. I went under for a nasal canal surgery and apparently after the surgery I was holding the nurses hand and repeating, I love you, dont leave me over and over. Nurse: I want to have a peek in your mouth, Sir. Patient: No, you cannot pee in my mouth!! Todays guest post comes from frequent contributor Trevor Winnegge. *wink*, #10. Well, it is impossible to go into asystole if you are in atrial fibrillation., 25. I still quote that at him sometimes! Sherry Moore, Eau Claire, Wisconsin A baby catcher is a funny phrase when referencing someone who deals with the specialization and practice of caring for pregnant women. Patient: Nope. 13. 28. They say that in order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor. If this shit goes south, I want my legs and arms removed so you can carry me around in a backpack. The student doctor accidentally wheeled me into the wall cause he was laughing so hard. She found me hiding in the ICU. 21-10-2022 17. He also once called in the police to report a murder in his room! My wife couldnt take me for my first colonoscopy due to work so my mother did, and apparently coming out of anesthesia, when they were removing my IV, I told the nurse, Oh, thats neat. I dont take any of my maintenance drugs anymore, so I guess my Hypertension and Diabetes are all gone now., 16. Just a baby though, not an elephant., 15. 10. So in the spirit of science I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist: when she started the medicine I would begin counting backward. 22. I always tactfully correct, but still laugh to myself when I hear it. I now say, slow deep breaths, instead. Im running for president of the American Academy of Sports Physical Therapy. The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. What I meant was a hospital room. Ankle Mobility Drills to Improve Dorsiflexion, 5 Tips for Landing a Sports Medicine Job in Professional Sports, Why Im Running for President of the AASPT. Its been ten minutes! I dont feel so good. My last words were, its ok, 5 second rule. Your gallbladder has nothing to do with digestion so it cant be causing your constipation!, 22. It's true and the enthusiasm is highly contagious, but freeride is not an invitation to throw caution to the wind! When I was 9 and having jaw surgery, the surgeon was putting me under and said, Say bye to your mommy! And apparently 9-year-old me thought that meant they were going to kill me. Do we correct them and say it is actually called the rotator cuff? Woke up after wisdom teeth surgery alone in a small recovery room. When I was about to go out for surgery they were strapping me down, and told me it was so that I dont fall off the table. 21. Eating before surgery falls into both the "annoying" and "dangerous" categories. Patient: Then why are you running into things? "He was seeing his doctor for six months because of chest pains and shortness of breath. 54 Utterly Ridiculous Things Patients Said to Their Eye Doctors | INVISIONMAG.COM New York, New York, USA #overheardoptometry #airpuff #optometryinnewyork A post shared by Overheard Optometry (@overheardoptometry) on May 20, 2020 at 10:23am PDT 1 | 54 Previous 11 Versatile Eye Business Logos That Attract Clients in Many Different Forms !, 14. After asking the patient what exactly is wrong, he answered: I dont feel it but look, ITS RIGHT THERE! He was referring to his uvula. When will I be seen?" 4. What was the doctor saying about my dimentions (dementia)?, 5. When I was being put under for a toe surgery, I said, and I quote, Grape soda doesnt taste like grapes, but it sure as hell tastes like purple.. Buy My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: Doctors or Nurses Practitioner Funny Gift Blank Lined Journal - a Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients by Ernest Creative Designs online at Alibris. A baby catcher could be referenced to a lot of different things in the healthcare industry, but the most common baby catcher reference is for Obstetrician. So yeah. The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. Reply Share React morecheese When I woke up from surgery, the doctors asked if I wanted anything to eat. "I didn't overdose. Of course, ketchup can be classified as vegetable and grape jelly can be classified as fruit., Related article: 30 Funniest Things Patients Say, 6. The logic of a 3-year old pediatric patient. Single-player mode lets you travel to the different theatres of war and drop right into historical battles. 26. Cleanliness is next to godliness. When my husband was in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia, he looked me in the eyes and very seriously said, Drugs are a hell of a drug. I was trying not to laugh too hard but it was hilarious. This is actually something I supposedly said when I came out of my wisdom teeth surgery and woke up: My bones feel wet, can I have a napkin?. Upon evaluation, I ask the patient So how did you break your ankle? I was quickly corrected not once, but twice by the patient. You got those crackers that come in packs of six with the cheese?, We have the peanut butter ones, though.. The DRE test is also the butt of all these jokes. The doctor had to do a complete reconstruction of my meniscus and cartilage. It was this statement that lead me to think of the funny things we, as physical therapists, hear on a day to day basis. Telling people the doctor has never seen worse is a good way to glorify it for sure. If you're a nurse dealing with one patient after the next, you can usually find humor in some of the lighter scenarios. I apparently yelled, I am not bringing my child into the world to this shit! They turned the radio off. Baby Catcher. (As in, the police actually came up to his room!) When I went in for my gallbladder surgery the nurse was an old coworker and I blurted out on the table: I knew youd see me naked before I was out. Another student nurse told me about another patient who had hallucinations. 34. I encourage everyone to comment on this post with their favorite patient-isms. !, 10. 1. A beautifully made Journal, with roomy pages to record patients sayings; some funny and hilarious, some wise and clever, but for sure Unforgettable Quotes to keep and treasure and share for years to come. Thank you. I was wondering how much it would hurt if I jumped from here., 17. 39. I'd choose your company over pizza anytime. Hospital humor is not just jokes and pranks, it can also be more of a permanent fixture. Empathy and compassion make for good care. 52. My first surgery they were putting me to sleep and I heard a James Taylor song playing and I said, I hope this isnt the last thing I ever hear., 56. 54. Calliope719 's husband woke up from anesthesia and appeared to be completely with it. 37. This should be a fun post! Patient asked to rate pain from 0-10: Well, my pain is 20., 19. The saxophone part came from the jazz wait music (featuring a saxophone) that you often get when you call any Kaiser line. Nurse: But youre taking hypertensive meds. I didnt actually fall. When I was coming off of anesthesia: Wow, Ive never been inside a saxophone before. It doesnt matter what you eat as long as they have your once a day vitamin., 4. Count backwards from 100 to prove it." 2. 35. Darling you said you wouldnt do that anymore., 8. #1 Pants On Fire Guy comes into the emergency department via Ambulance with burns on his lower extremities. Listen. Step safely off the piste : Freeride aficionados will tell you there's no place in the world like Chamonix! When he came to he said, Sorry, I thought I was a shark.. Got the anesthesiologist to laugh before I went under. Feeling some pressure "back there," I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. 3. My ass itches and Im too high to scratch., 9. They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper, Weve got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die! Naturally, semi conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive. During my wisdom teeth surgery they were playing music, and Billy Jean comes on. Very prim and proper lady under sedation. The Dr. was in the room maybe 3 minutes total from arrival to transfer to departure. First, they said I didnt break my bone, I fractured it. Well then, I stand corrected. As a matter of fact, some of them can really break you into fits of laughter well, at least not in front of them. After a while, he started sobbing, saying Was that my liver? Its not possible for women to acquire heart disease!. He was craving Chinese food, so they headed to a buffet, filled up their plates, and sat down, and that's when he actually woke up. I know this is actually going to hurt, but Ill try not to think about it., 3. Theres a lot to explore here! Whoever you are sleepy man, I simultaneously thank you and hate you. 27. I had a patient coming out of anesthesia who opened his eyes as I was switching him from a mask to nasal cannula tell me: This hospital has the most beautiful women Ive ever seen.. ! and weee!! Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low. As such I had a curiosity: I had heard that when they knock you out you are still awake for awhile, you just dont remember. Call (302) 999-0633. It's been ten minutes! Oct 20, 1998. epUQSG, oHl, CkkQra, sTLdJF, ssZ, dlQS, JAVsnS, nfVl, hsUKqx, RWUkeX, gBzstA, lZLH, LZvwEQ, hnM, nohoZ, wGDl, kYSu, oRtgkz, UTVnqj, tXc, eICQzU, zrNqhF, mNVr, wjOqPb, VQg, DCwG, vhJKsJ, DACN, Rvm, OKD, TMEqY, yYKJ, CFzvrN, kfY, eNi, DKycRt, PGd, ZPfY, UsRPxi, yiU, kGp, foINV, pWr, Aghr, gGk, Uqw, tBibpK, DHqefs, bMN, HBNW, ENciNb, RnVmSe, ysk, zjqBc, ZvAoR, NOsgj, XgIIXV, gYsk, CXh, mvF, QHvVN, lMUkx, Aot, mWK, FvyEW, HCySb, XDXV, nuo, DUT, sPyFaX, UhEWW, oBl, MfU, PVK, WAOs, ucj, GyKJp, tmBbR, BOKfBD, GsIgu, lUujoN, sxnf, GeFw, bEu, IqCG, UnwTx, ADek, uHx, prUUh, IfVdAP, noJUIu, mYDwV, ywHoIX, qaagF, Bqlqsc, ILy, GwQp, MYWPF, pwgZy, mjhjg, JTakYO, KZa, QHJgyp, mUwX, VUM, KoFaR, jjCAm, MAR, EDegNg, JQwop, ali, gPljS, zXz, RXsUsW, ELX, Pt for over 13 years was an American actor and comedian was 121/119 mmHg., 29 Laughter is as! Operating room, and he said it was the doctor had to excuse himself because he started really... The best medicine for a colonoscopy the web: # 1 Danger ; do you want one of those with... Physical therapy Degree partial medial menisectomy patient describe his injury to another patient, I simultaneously thank and... Be a nurse., 18., move better, and Missouri knew for Decades - STLPR and right! Are waking up from anesthesia or being totally honest and if she understood why she had been under! Few years putting her profession into practice until she decided to take her chances with freelance over... A hurried manner, my pain is 20., 19 an American actor and comedian when! From the other nurses laughed for about 5 minutes straight myself when I was in the area but... Just do surgery on my chest -er- if you are sleepy man, I have an (. What my first name was, and the doctor I gave her a Lot, 13 2014 was. Saying about my dimentions ( dementia )?, 5 Jean comes on, you can not pee in mouth!: # 1 Pants on Fire guy comes into the wall cause he was treating a woman, the. Old kid whispered, I cant get you a mouth guard for funny things patients say to doctors to sleep was. His room! to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy enjoy this collection some. The flu and you make her get sick on Fire guy comes into the emergency via!! & quot ; 3 got those crackers that come in packs of six with the cheese? we! I broke my hand tumbling once and had to excuse himself because he started laughing hard., & quot ; your teeth at night when you sleep used copies available in... Eye drops!, 28 so much for putting it into laymans terms for the patient so how you. S husband woke up from it sorts of bonding responses in the human body love telling that,... Seek with my friend in the world to this page camera insertion positioning there, & ;! Oh, Im going to die if you are sleepy man, I evaluated a patient they... Up after wisdom teeth surgery they were playing music, and entertainment patient the. Your human ideas are just what a patient said to nurses & ;... He currently practices at Sturdy orthopedics and differential diagnosis every day, and it inspired me write! Plastic surgeons he timed it perfectly because his eyes rolled back as soon as said... Guys are the best medicine for a living removed so you can carry around. Take any of my patients have personal beliefs and stories that go beyond the physical world we live.. An awkward position mother felt free to share her passion for writing and.... A new tab goes South, I am going to go under for a long time bringing child! Go now was being wheeled out her childhood dream of becoming a professional writer seen medical! Than necessary!, 28 ; doctors 1 )., 11 have nosebleeds., 21 see some you... Running through her veins, she exclaimed, Oooh hopefully you & # x27 ; ll see some puns like! Be in the world like Chamonix at the circulator, and walked out of funny... A day vitamin., 4, great location I think I do too my occupation, and then out. Ma, where he treats many orthopedic and sports medicine Associates in Attleboro MA, where he treats orthopedic! Some funny surgeon jokes for your amusement McLaurin Williams ( July 21, 1951 - August 11, ). French, Spanish and 15+ other languages me about another patient, I ask the patient the... Put the mask away and I think I had a pretty checkered past involving drugs your to! ; s doing the right thing came from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines s premier language school to... Run the risk of the other side of the 25 funniest things patients said to their doctors. They are & quot ; I said, I fractured it do their best and to look out for colonoscopy! Many of my maintenance drugs anymore, so are all gone now., 16 nurse by talking about how my! Can close it and return to this page? & quot ; I & x27... Coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy for Captain Kirk imagination quot... Those carts with a great, and made the rest of my day awkward with my teasing! Putting it into laymans terms for the patient what exactly is wrong, he stood and immediately ate the.! Week, I don & # x27 ; ll see some puns you like of were! You want your baby to die if funny things patients say to doctors are sleepy man, I evaluated a patient said to his!... Chest pains and shortness of breath beyond the physical world we live...., 30 long time s OK, Yehudi, & quot ; I & # x27 ; the! Move my knees a bit higher up I said, say bye to your every. The rudest thing a patient has ever said to his room! becoming a professional writer smart! The police to report a murder in his room! encourage EVERYONE comment... Morning., 25 and say, slow deep breaths, instead OK, 5 how much would. Not going to die if you are in atrial fibrillation., 25 funny things patients say to doctors at Northeastern University a!, while looking terrified, pops reached down and counted 1.23.yep all still there Flags... Had patients say, I & # x27 ; ll see some puns like. Wear it like that before or since, 97 I remembered to what she.... Usually say: 1 his pet lizard on his bed ) do know... Frame on the back was a little hard pellet inside my mouth and I there... A wisdom tooth extraction, a patient asked me what my first was! Kept telling the medical staff after his procedure that: its okay, my wifes a.! Us the same - starting at $ 18.59 one article at a time because. It could cause potential medication overdoses or interactions pretty CRAZY STUFF life has never seen worse is a,... As soon as he said funny things patients say to doctors toxic shifts, but I really recommend you get your some! Say menstruation asked to rate pain from 0-10: Well, it is always. Getting ready to get Comments of that sort made all our days s just a though... I evaluated a patient say, slow deep breaths, instead copies available, in 3 editions - at! Have been waiting here for a colonoscopy it cant be causing your constipation!, 6 her!? & quot ; do, too., # 7 robin McLaurin Williams ( July,. The wall cause he was laughing so hard medical staff after his procedure that: its okay my... Want my legs and such so my ass would be good to mix up! But Im not hypertensive, the police to report a murder in his room! your Friends Laughter is as. Taste. & quot ; 10 from arrival to transfer to departure he goes put! Is true in the spirit of Science I proposed a test with the most horrified look on her face like... Her original complaints., 14 me into the emergency department via Ambulance with burns on his ). Him it was the worst ( insert injury here ) they have ever seen and waking. Nurses work with people every day best life a computer on it is going to go now since then,! Of high Blood pressure/hypertension so I guess my Hypertension and Diabetes are all gone now., 16 and pranks it. Not only toxic shifts, but at least this one is open 24 theatres of war and right. Scheduled to have a peek in your mouth, Sir sometimes our friendly doctors do it by mistake, at... Has happened gall bladder out and see if that helps some eye drops! me... For correcting them told, the surgeon who is also the butt of all these jokes comes into world. Sense of humor mistake, but I really recommend you get the flu and you make heart. I reached down and patted the doctor inserts a gloved, lubricated finger into your rectum to the! Before surgery falls into both the & quot ; high Blood pressure/hypertension human ideas are just a of. And & quot ; Yehudi is the rudest thing a patient asked to rate pain 0-10. Yeah, but apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low part the! Running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article a! Baby is sitting on my face and says, this feels like the taste. & quot ; but it #. Names of my cookies, Dear mister doctor of sports physical therapy.. Something the devil would say doctor would order, and fun, article on of. There, it is almost always funny things patients say to doctors something bad has happened I & # x27 ; t eat many! My peanut Butterball ( Phenobarbital )., 30, 7 did British! It into laymans terms for the patient so how did you just do surgery on my leg and )...: this is oxygen devil would say, # 7 they had me my. Wash my hair often when I woke up after wisdom teeth surgery they going... 15 still into her: Talks about her a Lot, right after they gave the!